


Forever / Never

by etrnity



Series: Wanna One Angst ; a concept [1]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: F/M, Produce 101 - Freeform, and have no soul, for people who likes angst, i don't know what to add here, it's angsty i guess, jinyoung is mentioned like only once, seriously, the ot11 version made me cry, very much inspired by Never, with bitter / fluff ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 15:57:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12016122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etrnity/pseuds/etrnity
Summary: You thought that you two were meant to be forever, right?p.jh x reader soulmate!au thing requested by an anon on Tumblr





	Forever / Never

You never experienced love to an extent, since you and your soulmate never found each other, but a small hunch tells you that he's close, yet so far away.

Looking at the blank spot on your left wrist, you sighed again for the fifth time that day. You knew that your wrist is where the sentence should be placed at, since every time you drew on it, it immediately fades away like magic. Next to the blank spot is an oval, it seems incomplete, as so you thought.

The moment you heard your soulmate's voice and what they'd spoke about or for you, the sentence will be etched onto the blank spot immediately with their surname near it. Once you knew their name, the bond will be complete since their name will be forever etched on you.

 

"Hey, Y/n!" One of your friends, Samuel greeted you and sat down next to you. The both of you were in the lounge room of one of the academy dorms, it was nearly midnight and you were the only one still up.

"Hi." You said with a smile, then continue looking out the window, onto the night life of Seoul.  
"You're still thinking about it?" He asked and you nodded, "He'll come by, I'm sure of it.”

"Easy for you to say," You sighed, "You and Daehwi immediately clicked together the moment you both met each other." You gave a bitter smile, "And that was like, three years ago."

"Four actually." He corrected and you rolled your eyes.

"I say you're lucky. People say that if you don't find your soulmate by the age of 30 you'll be alone, forever. Even in the afterlife." You made small jazz hands to emphasize it more dramatically.

"Oh come on, you're the last person I would believe for you trusting those stupid conspiracies." Daehwi chirped in and sat down on Samuel's lap.

"Pda much?" You groaned, and the two shook their heads and laughed.

"Just hope that your soulmate isn't the one that you hate." Daehwi said and you slap him on the arm slightly. Earning you a glare by Samuel before shaking it off.

"Don't. Jinx it. Lee Daehwi." You hissed, "If that happens I'll be jumping off the roof."

"Be our guest, it's one more competition of our hands." Samuel jokes and gets punched by you and Daehwi.

"But," Daehwi says, ignoring the hurt puppy eyes of Samuel, "They say that opposites attract."

"Oh My God, please. Don't!" You bury your head into your hands, "If you two jinx this, my life is ruined."

 

It was another day at the academy, nothing much has happened, You attended classes and went on the daily routine of your life. You stared at your wrist again and sighed. 

At the back of your head, you hear yourself saying that he'll be here, waiting for you two to meet.The moment you left your classroom, you heard someone saying softly at the back of the hall way.

"Nae Maeum Soge, Jeojang~!"

And immediately, you felt your wrist burning. The pain was like cutting through your skin and boiling your blood, quickly leaning against the wall and gripped onto your wrist.

 

Glancing at the writing etched onto you, "I hate you." You said through gritted teeth as the pain slowly faded and in confusion of the words that were etched onto you. Your Korean wasn't the best so you don't know the full meaning of it, you wait to go back to your dorm and ask your classmates.

 

At the back of the hallway, Samuel was with Daehwi and Jinyoung, rolling their eyes at the phrase that Jihoon tends to repeat almost daily.

"For the love of god stop it!" Samuel groans and leans his head against the wall, "We love you, you don't have to remind us every day." He says sarcastically.

"I know you guys love m--" Jihoon was cut off by the burning sensation on his right wrist, "Shit." Is all he can say at the moment.

"No way, you mean she's in here?" Daehwi looks at them, "That's awesome."

"She said that she hates him," Jinyoung said, "Jeez, hyung. Good luck with her." He laughs and patted Jihoon on the shoulder.

"Great of words of encouragement." Jihoon rolls his eyes and looked at the words again.Samuel looked at Jihoon's wrist and stared at the surname and the unfinished oval on the left side of his wrist, he laughed.

"What's so funny?" Daehwi asks and Samuel replies him in whispers.

"This is going to be fun!" Daehwi jumps. Both Jinyoung and Jihoon are confused at the two, Jinyoung shrugs and bids them goodbye, saying that he has tutorial classes."Do you two know who this is?" Jihoon asks, pointing at his wrist.  
"Of course we do." Daehwi beams.  
"But where's the fun if we told you who she is." Samuel adds.

 

You returned to your daily sulking at the lounge room, this time sitting on the balcony. Fall was coming, yet you sit in only a tank top and shorts, a thin sweater covering your legs. You sneezed a few times in the span of two hours, you don't seem to mind the wind.

Like a routine, Samuel and Daehwi always find you alone, and then it ends up you three talking until one of you felt sleepy.

"Hey, seems like someone found their soulmate." Daehwi chirps in as the two sat next to you, pointing at your wrist.

"Help me translate this." You outstretched your hand to the two.

 

"Seriously? Hasn't your Korean improved at all? Y/n, you've been here for five years and nothing improved?" Samuel asks while Daehwi reads your wrist.

"Shut up. It's not that I don't want to improve my Korean, it's just that I can't." You replied bitterly and you put on your sweater.

"I'll keep you in my heart." Daehwi quotes before you put on your sweater, "Isn't that sweet." He coos and you shutter, "Any ideas on who this guy is?"

"No." You quickly replied, "Just hope that it's not that Park Jihoon kid. The world is large, there is a small chance that it'll be him." You sighed.The two boys exchange glances in worry, "What if it's him?" Samuel asks.  
"Oh God help me," You bury your head in your hands.  
"Why don't you want it to be him? I mean, everyone wants to be his soulmate?" Daehwi questions.

"You didn't know that I've dated him before right?" The two were shocked but shook their heads. You started to explain.

 

It all started at the first year you've been studying in Korea, you haven't met Samuel and Daehwi until your third year here. Jihoon was still the kid that everyone in their mom wants to be with till now, and he was the first person that tried to talk with you with the best English the boy has.

"Hi, my name is Park Jihoon. You want to be friend?"

He was adorable, those were one of the reasons that you liked him in the first place. Jihoon would help you adapt to the Korean culture, he actually took the time to help you understand everything you know in Korean till today.

You still kept the stuffed teddy bear he'd won for you at the school festival, even though one of its eyes went missing. You still kept it even though it hurts every time you see it, you said that it reminded you of a mistake that was the relationship between you two.

 

To be honest, you two were labeled as the power couple of your grade. The pictures you've posted on social media, the gifts and dates you both had, were perfect.But then, everything went spiraling downhill since you two started dating. You both have dated for quite a while. But then, it seems that you two were falling out of love.

 

Yes, that happens.

Jihoon started to talk less around you, unlike when you both started. It took you a while to understand the conversations he had with his friends, you've heard that it was a dare made by his friends to date you, the foreign student. He said that he wanted to test out the theory that you'll find your soulmate even before the mark appears. You'd also heard that he called you stupid and naive to fall for him, and said that you were weak since you depend on him a lot. Some of the conversations, you were there but didn't understand a thing about what they're saying.

You started to ignore him and kept bringing back the gifts he gave you, in hopes of erasing the memories of you two in some way. And he doesn't talk to you either so it helped you a bit. It hurts a lot when you place the gifts into his bag, Jihoon didn't even notice and you saw that the gifts were gone the day after. 

Your relationship with him was falling apart.This was all before you knew about the soulmates thing. Jihoon says that the soulmate mark may appear the moment you hit the age of 15. And it did, and at that moment you knew that he wasn't the one for you. You cried, and you're heart broken. 

 

By that moment, walls were built and you silenced yourself, you've deleted everything of him in your life, but kept the stuffed bear since you say that it's comfy and a good snuggle buddy. All the pictures were deleted, the gifts were all returned, by the time 10th grade started, it seems like the both of you had nothing linked together.

The times where you two pass by each other, both of you were like nothing even happened at all. 

 

You showed the stuffed teddy bear from Jihoon to the two, and showed them the ripped card tied on its ribbon that was written by Jihoon."Wow..." Samuel can only muster to say, his face was still shocked. "We never knew."

"It's been a year, I still thought I got over him." You squeezed the paws of the bear, "It's funny if he turns out to be my soulmate."

"Sorry Y/n," Daehwi apologizes, causing you to look at him, "Jihoon is your soulmate, we saw him get marked today. And he's got the same oval mark like yours too."

You took a deep sigh and breathed, you tried to think about the ways to ignore this until your mark fades away thus causing you to be alone forever.

"You can't ignore this Y/n, you still see him and it will sting you every time you guys encounter." Daehwi places his hands on your shoulder and shook you.

"I can and I will." You took his hands off your shoulder, and plop back down onto your chair, but before he can talk you cut him off with, "I'll sort this out myself." You forced out a smile and went back to your room.

 

It was 2 am, and Jihoon was annoyed when he listened to Samuel (and sometimes Daehwi) on the other side of the phone.  
"Get straight to the point guys, I know you're stalling."  
"We know who's your soulmate!"  
"You told me that yesterday, would you like to tell me?"

There was a pause, then Daehwi spoke up, "It's Y/n."Jihoon immediately sat up and was in shock. 

He remembered the time where he thought that you two were dating. During that time on his mind was the dare, nothing else. 

"You know that you're an asshole right?" Samuel points out, "Y/n told us that she really loved you, she remembered every single thing you did with her, Park Jihoon."

Jihoon's mind was starting to clear as he starts to remember. He remembers that you were returning his gifts, that you were starting to ignore that, by that time he doesn't know that he'd fallen for you. He saw you ignoring him and treating him like a ghost was the thing that stated that you two were done.None of the students dared to ask him so they all went to you, he witnessed all of that, he witnessed your pain and saw that you were forcing a smile. 

He thought that the guilt was only a phase so he neglected those feelings, who know that love was also a part of that.

"Yah! Park Jihoon, are you listening to me?" Daehwi's voice suddenly burst through his train down memory lane.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Jesus." Daehwi sighs, "Y/n says that she's gonna talk it out with you. And I have to tell you that she is ready to ignore the whole soulmate thing and just die alone. She's been rarely smiling ever since me and Sammy met her." Daehwi's tone went softer, "Please help her, I don't care if it ends with you dying. As her friends, we want to see her happy."

Jihoon ruffled his hair and fell back onto the mattress, "I'll try, hopefully." He said before he bid the two a good night and went to sleep.He stares at the small gift boxes lined up on his dresser, along with a picture frame of you two. 

Until now, he doesn't see them as the past but as trophies of some sort. A sour feeling crept up in his stomach as he tried to sleep, he finally felt the guilt from two years ago.

'This was our epilogue, and she had ended it herself.'

Jihoon loved you, and he knew that just now. He loved your smile, the way you ask about Korean and also everything. Everything you two made was beautiful and happy, but he let you slip between his fingertips. 

 

It was a mistake.

 

Tears started to fall from his eyes as he kept staring at the gifts you returned. It filled him with tears with a sad ending that was you both.

 

He was determined to talk to you the next day. Finding you after your class and immediately dragged you up to the roof, you had spoken nothing all the way and ignored all those glances gave by others.Once you two reached the roof, Jihoon closed the doors to the staircase, giving you too all the privacy you need.You were a straightforward person, and Jihoon knows that.

"Have you ever loved me, Jihoon?"

There was a pause, you kept looking him in the eye, you hands gripping on the paws of your sweater, fingernails starting to dig into your skin.

"Yes, I just knew that now." Jihoon replies.

You gave a small laugh, "Just because of this soulmates thing?" You sounded baffled, "I loved you you know. You didn't see how great we were together, those smiles were genuine and the conversations I had with you were true. And then, you played me, Park Jihoon. Calling me stupid and naive, you placed me on the table as a dare?" Tears were starting to fall off, "And you know what? I thought I got over you, but I never was."

You looked at him with tearful eyes, "Have you loved me?"

"Yes." Jihoon reaches his hand out for you but you stepped back, "I don't wish for you to forgive me." 

He looked at you with eyes wishing for forgiveness, "But will you give me a second chance."

You were scared all right, he was your first love, and hopefully last, trying to shake off the saying that you said before, 'We're not forever'. 

You raised your head and he was just in front of you, you looked back at his facials, he was beautiful, so were you.

Taking in another deep breath, you took his hand and closed it. You were hurt and is him.

Your heart was waiting for this, the flame that was put down, extinguished, has relit itself.

"Yes, I'll give you a second chance." You replied, and he leaned into a soft kiss.

'This is now our new prologue, and we will write it together again.'

 

And when the ovals on your wrists pressed together, it formed an infinity shape.

**"We are meant to be forever."**

"I love you." Jihoon says softly.

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> ok...thanks for reading this mess  
> this was the longest thing I've written yet, I feel accomplished
> 
> the feedback I got from tumblr was nice and I'm excited to see some here  
> I'm thinking of making four more inspired by the concept songs, all angst-ish  
> please request me, I'm hungry *insert Bae Geopa~ meme*
> 
> deciding for doing Jinyoung next with Oh Little Girl


End file.
